News & Politics

Samantha Bee Explains Why Trump's 'Loyal Husky' Paul Ryan Will Never Impeach Him

Don't look to Ryan to allow impeachment proceedings, no matter how bad it gets.

Photo Credit: Full Frontal with Samantha Bee/YouTube

Democrats have been eagerly anticipating Trump's impeachment since November 9, having drawn up a long list of reasons why he's clearly unfit for office. Unfortunately, the scenario still seems highly unlikely. 

Two days after former national security adviser, Michael Flynn, resigned, "Full Frontal" host Samantha Bee explained why.  

"The latest crisis involving the president’s staff of wildly incompetent bumblef*cks has raised a lot of questions, and as ever, Kellyanne [Conway] was there to not answer them,” Bee began on Wednesday. 

She then played a show reel of Conway repeatedly citing Trump's obsession with “loyalty." For once, Bee couldn't help but agree with Kellyanne. 

“Loyalty is everything to [Trump],” Bee noted. “And nobody has adapted to that reality better than Speaker of the House, and faithful husky, Paul Ryan.” 

"In his 20-year political career, the Wisconsin senator has built a pretty solid reputation," Bee noted in describing the House Speaker and “conscience of the party."

So, how did “a principled fiscal and social conservative like Ryan [wind] up in bed with a bigoted, adulterous grope machine?" Bee asked. 

In high school, Ryan was then dubbed “biggest brown-noser"—and some people never change. 

"I'm not going to prejudge any of the circumstances surrounding this," Ryan said when asked of Michael Flynn's resignation this week. "I think the president made the right decision. As as soon as this person lost the president's trust, the president asked for his resignation. And that was the right thing to do."

"Aw, you should see him do that while balancing a Milk-Bone on his nose," Bee mocked, reminiscent of days when Ryan called out Trump's policies and racist comments.

"Remember back when Ryan would put on his best disappointed vice principal voice and go out on a limb to disapprove of the KKK?" Bee asked. "But after months of begging the candidate to meet the bare minimum standard of human decency, which he didn't, Captain Courageous proudly endorsed him anyway via an op-ed in Wisconsin's ninth-largest daily newspaper."

The pride of Janesville, Wisconsin, sought a Republican-run House and Senate by any means necessary—even if that meant embracing Trump, who defied conservatism at every turn. 

"The last thing I want to see happen is another Democrat in the White House. I don't want to see Hillary Clinton as president," Ryan told MSNBC's Chuck Todd in June.

"I want to see a strong majority in the House and the Senate," Ryan added. 

"You just made a case, though, of party over country," Todd told him.

Ryan repudiated the charge.

"No, I didn't," he insisted. 

"Yes, you did!" Bee exclaimed after playing the clip. "We're not deaf."

And while most "Full Frontal" viewers aren't Janesville residents or registered Republicans, there's a big reason why they, and really all Americans, should care.

"Consider, if, in theory, a hypothetical president—we'll call him Doug—were to collude with a foreign enemy, engage in self-dealing, defy a co-equal branch of government, share state secrets with the entire early dinner seating of his private club, the clinically bonkers or, worst of all, lie under oath about an alleged sex act; guess who would be expected to draw up articles of impeachment?" Bee asked. "The pride of Janesville, House Speaker Paul Ryan."

"Stand out of groping range, everyone," Bee then warned. "It's going to be a long four years."


Alexandra Rosenmann is an AlterNet associate editor. Follow her @alexpreditor.

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